SayALittleSomething.

Time tells. We all know.

I just cannot.

Maybe im not good at this.

Maybe that wasnt enough.

All these frustrations.

I need to stop.

Why is this so hard.

It was an looong an awesome weekend. Friday was spent out shopping with ChengJun and his mum and papa at orchard. I love how dajie and i have like extra company for shopping now. other than the fact that every 2-3 hours or so this company will demand for food with his uber loud cries but all is cool. he is by far quite the good shopper. hehe.

Saturday was Ginger’s see and be seen night cycling event which Alex and I helped out. never really did much though. we just helped to press the traffic lights for the cyclist. wrapped up at like around 1am.

Sunday was the staycation over at Moon! This boutique hotel at little india. right opposite wanderlust. Cant afford stay at wanderlust without its promotions thus decided to check Moon out since it looked quite presentable on the outside. Well, on the inside…its quite a small room. not exactly interesting. just a small, cosy room. definitely wont be back. i so want to try other lofts in Wanderlust. all the different themes just make it so much more interesting. it was a long night. it was a rainy sunday night at little india. We had to have the indian food at banana leaf so we walked all the way there. Quite used to making my way through the people there. so all is cool. Stuffed ourselves silly with all the briyani and papadum. so full i can feel the food filled up all the way to my throat. and that fateful night the food just wouldnt settle. ended up purging and puking all the curry and spice in the bryani. i still can vividly remember the taste of the vomitus. All these while the boyfriend was soundly asleep. Tsk Tsk. haha. anyway, managed to finally get some sleep when things happened at home. Apparently mum forgot i was staying out and she was so damn worried she cried. :’(. i felt so so sososososososososossosoososos guilty for the rest of the morning.

Monday was CYBERTRON CON at RWS!

it was AWESOME. All the different robots and the start of transformers. Honestly, i am not that big a transformer fan so im not like those that will appreciate how transformers were when they just started out. I just really really like them in the later movies. Those autobots are soooo AWESOME. There was a really big optimus prime exhibit as well. If only it was real. like those in the movies. im sure they can make that happen, so much better than just a statue standing there. imagine, life like optimus prime. HOW COOL WILL THAT BE??? looking at them makes me jump inside a little bit, that sound when they transform, the weapons they are equipped with, the way they walk. not just transformers, i remember liking those robots in real steel too. They were awesome. so huge, so big, so solid, so metal. okay enough said! :) 

Bumble beeeee.

There the big optimus prime.

and also the small one.

My favourite bumble bee of the lot.

Some bad guys for the decepticons.

and this is sooo nice righttt.

yeap. so that’s pretty much all about Cybertron Con 2012.

note also the grand ballroom at RWS. ;)

it was a bad day at work. not your usual very busy day. busy day can be a happy day but this, probably the most screwed up day ever.

So much grievances and anger i just want to let this out. pure letting out.

started with many discharges and admission. and then sent the wrong patient’s charts with the right patient to the OT. Fatal mistake. Thank god, they didnt decide to bring up the matter or things would have been really bad. All this because things were not prepared beforehand and i was flustering big time when patient had to go. why? because , not to push the blame, but i have an assistant not for nothing. that was HER jobscope. really was.

then patient discharge wayyy past discharge timing because doctors did rounds like damn late. Must keep calling them to chase them to come review patient. On one hand, patient’s parents keep rushing us to get the doctors and on the other, doctors just keep saying they will be coming. then you get sandwiched in the middle. sometimes i dont even know how to look parents in the eye. What to do? nothing i can do but ask them to wait. and the word wait can spark like much anger. so you can only stand there and take it all in.

then on the other side child cannot stop crying. fracture hand causing him so much pain but operation is not due till the OT called. Parents frantically rushing you to check the op timing. but we dont manage the OT either, you just have to wait. there is no choice. Want to give painkillers for patient, cant give until doctors order in system. call doctors to order but somehow it always takes like more than half an hour to do it. is it that difficult???? your patient is crying in pain! then the more patient cry, the more parents become frantic and the more they throw the negativities on you, what to do? just take it.

then comes the boss, breathing down your neck. keep telling me to transfer one of my patient over to the other side because they dont belong to b2 class. NOT IMPORTANT! my priorities are medicine and there she is, rushing me to transfer patient over. THAT TAKES TIME!!!!

then came the call from pharmacy from downstairs saying my already DISCHARGED patient making a din downstairs because they werent informed from the ward that they had to Q for medicine because its past office hours. THEN HOW?! what you want me to do????? i really dont know what solution can i offer already? Q for them? i dont know why they had to call and complain. then keep asking why we didnt tell them that they had to Q. HOW THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THERE IS A FREAKING Q?!?!?!?!? i was so pissed i told her off. im sorry but hey, you handle it from there. dont push it back to me. so i had to call the parents and explained to them regarding the miscommunication and how sorry we are they had to wait. So mum nagged about why they had to wait so long. fine, i take it. it wasnt that bad because i had a good rapport with them. they let me off.

then came the anxious parent of a patient who kept vomitting. informed DR. meds ordered but pharmacy takes like such a long time to process. they never took so long. it was ytd. made tons of phone call before i finally gotten the meds. and i swear within that hour till the meds came, parent asked me for like more than 10 times.

then came the last straw. the doctor. called this jr doctor down to give antibiotics and somehow he came with his senior doctor to review the patient. no issue. then i politely asked him to give this first dose antibiotics for the patient because nurses dont give first dose. then the snr doctor started to question. why was my first dose given so late? why is it ordered at 1pm but only given at 7pm. so i politely replied, that when it was ordered we were passing report and that we had to order those meds and then call you guys before we can give. and also, in the system it was ordered as a morning dose and if you brilliant doctors want to give first dose like now when you ordered a morning dose, please kindly order one dose as a STAT dose so we know. and he replied, still in a questioning tone like i was some kid who did the wrong thing, saying still, it was ordered at 1pm why delay??? so i just told him off. THEN WHAT? YOU WANT TO GIVE NOW OR NOT? WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO? and he still insist why it was given so late. i stared at him and said yeap, my fault. give if you want. and walked away. and i really wanted to burst out crying already. WTF he wants??? its the first dose so it doesnt matter how late it is plus its not as if we missed a day or what??? why harp on the fact that we gave late??? we had to call the doctors to come and give. blame it on your doctors. why so slow?! All pushing duties here and there. fuck you really. why take it out on me??

and then because of all these that happened, i havent even touched my report till like 9pm. i was supposed to be handing over already. 6 full reports with all the events that happened. i only left at 10pm. feeling like i worked 2 whole shifts. i had to give myself 10 minutes to let it all out before going home. it was such a bad day, i dont want to face anybody after work. )’:

things were actually getting better at work for the last months. I dont dread going to work as much. i enjoy doing well and patients and parents who actually from the bottom of their heart appreciates what i do for them. but times likes this just overwhelms all those. but i’ll try not to let this negativity stay for too long.

i am better. 

what dont kill you make you stronger.